It's 12:25 AM here and 

I'm wide awake.

Lately I often think about how my life is going on. Some things didn't go as planned, even after I tried so hard to pursue it. I did cried on my prayers. Asked why-s to Allah, "why me? or why like that? or why like this?". The more I asked, the more I realized.
I realized that we as human beings, we never know Allah's plan. We are too small, we are too senseless to understand Allah's plan for us.

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I remember my dad ever told me, "Imagine that you were in a clueless road and you need to find a treasure trove, then you're at an intersections. You asked for the Allah's help. You think the right path is turn right, then you're turn. But in the middle of the road, there's a cliff with the sea below and group of robbers confront you. Then what would you do? You turn back to intersections and find another way, right? Do you feel irate? Why don't you thank Allah instead of irate? You might think Allah didn't help you to against the robbers but hey! That's how Allah works, that's how Allah help us to find the right path for us. Because the treasure trove you need to find is not there, it's on the left path."

So tonight I'm trying to fix my perspective and perhaps it'll make me a better human being after all. I try to asked what-s to Allah, "What's Your plan for me?" or "What are You trying to tell me?" or "What are You trying to teach me with these problems?". Trying to always have a good prejudice in Allah's plan. Yes, I still have to learn a lot to be a better human beings tho. 

Oh it's 01:11 AM already,

Let's have a good sleep!